This post is about the truth & you and it’s gonna be harsh.. If you can’t take it, don’t read it..
2 & 1/2 yrs.. and all possibilities of a revival ended within a month.
I’ve been talking to a few ppl.. they all gave me the same verdict.. a verdict which i initially could not comprehend and refused to accept.. but the more i thought about it.. the more obvious it became that it was the truth and that i’ve been holding onto something that wasn’t worth the effort..Initially i wasnt angry with you, but i’m starting to feel it. Beyond the disappointment, the faint glow of anger shines.
The lies, the deceit, the false glimmer of light, the shielding of the truth from EVERYONE.. i used to think it’s my fault.. but not so much now..
The thing that i couldn’t stand the most, was the fact that nothing of it was told to me, nor put on your blog. If you wanted it, at least have the guts to tell me, or at least put it on your blog for everyone to see. Trying to act the angel? Don’t keep me in the dark, holding on to a thread of hope that doesn’t exist. If you don’t love me, tell me, so i can stop wasting my time on you. You were moving on, you were seeing someone else. AT LEAST HAVE THE FUCKIN DECENCY TO INFORM ME.
What did u hope to accomplish by not posting any of ur escapades on your blog? What good would not telling me that you were seeing someone else bring? You said it was hard and you "didnt know how to tell it to me". So then i guessed for you it would be much better if i found out for myself 2months later? So for the past 2 months that i’ve been thinking we might still have a chance you were out there galavanting and enjoying yourself with someone else. Am i here to be kept as a spare tyre so that if america doesnt work out, i can be a replacement to fall back on?
Stop your "you weren’t there so you wouldnt know" crap. I’ve heard enough. We had problems for about 2 months, broke up, saying "go back to sg then see how it goes. might still be able to work it out". I guess there was zero chance right from the beginning huh. You went ahead and got attached to another person 1 month later. What more within weeks of meeting him. I’m sure he’s a nice person and all that’s why u got attached to him.
You gave up a 2+ yrs r/s to go with someone else that you might never again see in your life. You knew he was going to UPEN for at least 4 yrs. You knew he stayed in the US all his life and was never gonna migrate here. You knew that you are never gonna migrate to the US. You knew that if you got together you both would only see each other for 1 month more before you flew back. And yet, you went ahead with it. You gave up on even trying to salvage a 2+ yrs r/s for another guy who you would probably nvr see again in your life. You left 2+ yrs for a 1 month thrill ride. Congrats.
I know i’ve said this before, but im gonna say it again. For you to give up on our 2+yrs r/s for one month with another guy. For you to end one long-dist to enter another one which would at least drag on for 4 yrs, with the knowledge of how difficult a long-dist r/s is. Did you even use your god-given brain to think if it’ll work out? What does it say about what we had? I dunno about u but nearly everyone i asked said: to you it meant NOTHING. Zilch. Non-existant. That is the truth. Face up to it.
What’s the point in calling me on my birthday? What were you trying to prove or do? By doing that were you trying to give me more false hope? Obviously during that call, you conveniently did not mention that you were going to tour the US for one week ALONE WITH YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND. NYC, Washington DC, Atlantic City, Philladelphia etc. Great destination for a honeymoon i must admit.
I will always remember what happened for half a year leading up to my 21st bday. You have made my 21st bday an even better one. An extremely memorable one. I thought nothing could get worse. Thinking back now how silly i was to be hoping on my bday that we might work it out, while you were in the states having fun with your new guy. It’s funny how life screws with you.
"bitch", "scheming". Just some of the few words that have left the mouths of others. Why do i even bother trying to protect what you meant to me? I could just join the parade and hate you to make myself feel better. But i know hating you won’t make a difference. I dunno why i’m saying this but you were a good gf, but you need your guy to be beside you always. And when i flew to aust i guess i cldnt be there. So you went off in search of another. Another who could bring you dinner while u were studyin in the states: who could drive ard the states with you: one whom you could experience a white christmas with. I just hope you would not go off in search of a new one everytime your bf is not by your side.
Now that all’s been said and done, it’s been an eventful 2006. One where i’ve learnt and matured. Made new friends. Interacted with many different types of people. I guess GOD puts us through many types of trials. And im ashamed to say that i’ve let my faith dwindle when i’m there.
Bryan: Be glad that she did something mine didn’t do. Do not hold on to the past anymore.
Cindy: Thank you for your unwaivering support.
Liujun: Hope everything is working out fine for you.
Jonathan & Hansel: I know i’ve neglected you guys and taken our friendship for granted. But i hope to correct that.
I love you all. Live life to the fullest. Live life without regrets.
